Week Four: One month down, two to go!

Disclaimer: I am a slacker! I will be the first one to admit it. So I will apologize now for my late posting of my latest results. It was a busy week, so to my loyal followers, I am sorry for the delay. Now on to my post for the week.

I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would make it four weeks without food. I think about it and I can't believe the amount of strength that I have been able to conjure up. I am feeling so proud of myself. The other thing that makes me feel good is the amount of support I have gotten from my friends and family. Hearing people tell me what a great job I am doing is a great motivator to keep moving forward and to do the best I can do. I got this, and I will succeed.

In the beginning, I was kind of worried about how people would react about being in a program like this, but I have to say, the people in my world have been very receptive. It is an extreme measure to take, but if it works, hey why not, and so far it has been working. I recently went public with my involvement in the program at a meeting I was at last week. Many of my colleagues mentioned how great I was looking, and asked what my secret was. I thought about keeping it my secret, but then I thought, why should I? I am proud of my success, and I want to shout it from the rooftops that Optifast is working for me. The other reason is because maybe my involvement in the program will be the push that someone with weight issues needs to make a health change in their life. So I said that I was in this medical program, and gave the quick and dirty explanation. Surprisingly the reaction was not skepticism, it was awe. I guess mostly because when you think about it, it takes an awful lot of willpower to do what I am doing. It also doesn't hurt that I am as stubborn as they come!

Despite having a busy week, and feeling a lot of hunger and cravings, I stuck to the program. It's sometimes really hard, and the moments that get me are when I just feel defeated by the monster that I have created. I did this to me, no one else did it, and it's up to me to prevail. One of the moments that nearly sent me into a tailspin was when my husband ordered pizza for supper. It looked and smelled so good. I would have killed for a bite. But I asked myself, would you be able to stop after just one bite? The answer: highly doubtful. So I walked away, bottle of water in hand, cup of ice cubes in the other, and for one more day, I beat the monster!!

One of the things that I am struggling with right now is that I am having a hard time visualizing the results. The scale doesn't lie, the clothes that fit better don't lie, but why am I having such a hard time seeing what everyone else sees? So many people tell me they can see it, but when I look in the mirror, I still see the same thing, maybe a little bit on a good day, but that's it. I think the hardest part is that I have not been a fan of looking at myself in the mirror, so now when I do, I really look, because I am looking for the change. So this week we are talking about positive body image, and it got me thinking about what I want to see in terms of results that will make me happy. The answer is kind of silly, but it's something I have not had in a long time, and that is a sexy collar bone!! Silly I know, but when I see that it means, it has emerged from beneath the fat. And damn it, I think it's beautiful!! So that is another of my goals for this journey. So, come on sexy neck bones, I know you are there, now come on out!!

Tuesday nights are becoming something I look forward to. I really like seeing my program mates. They are such wonderful people, and so funny! I laugh a lot when I am at the meeting. It's nice to be grouped with such a great bunch. We are becoming like a cheering squad for each other. It's great because we are not in it alone, and we know it! So this weeks meeting was another success for me!! I surpassed my goal of 30 pounds gone (I set a low goal for myself because the most I have ever lost on a serious diet was 25 pounds). This week I lost 7.6 pounds!!! I am so proud of myself! I am beating the monster, and that is amazing. The other thing that I am pleased to say is that I truly feel as though this will change my lifestyle, not just for the duration of the program, but for the rest of my life! I want this, and I want it for a long time. Life is a gift, and being in the program has been a great reminder!!


I am 34.8 pounds closer to a Brand New Me!!

Love, The Queen