Despite having a really tough couple of weeks, I am still in control, and I am still going strong. I am the type of person that tends to eat when I am stressed or sad. I have been able to recognize that, but it never stopped me from chowing down when life got hard. Looking at me, I must have endured a lot of stress!! Now being on the program, I have to find new ways to deal with stress. The gym has become a great stress reliever and I have also turned back to my first love!! I have started to write again, and it feels good. It is the one thing that I love to do, but since having my daughter, it has been on the back burner, but now it is back, and some of it is in this blog.
One of the things I noticed since becoming a mom is that I have given up many of the little things in life that brought me joy, specifically, "Me" time. I found that since becoming a mother, I tend to put others before myself, and when I do put myself first, it comes with a big old helping of guilt. One of the things being in the program has shown me, is that it is okay to put me first, especially when it comes to my health. It has been my goal to go to the gym, and not feel bad about taking an hour for myself. This is something that I do struggle with, but I am having an easier time lately. I guess it's because a friend of mine really put it into perspective for me. He said, one hour at the gym, is just giving you the chance at a longer life with your daughter and your husband. He was so right. I want to have many years to enjoy my little family, so one hour a day is nothing compared to a lifetime with them, and good health.
As I mentioned earlier this has been a tough week for me. I recently lost a man that I highly respected, and thought the world of, he was like the grandpa I never had. He was actually my childhood friends grandfather, but I thought of him as my own, and I am very thankful to my friend for sharing him with me for the last 25 years. This man opened his home to me for so many holiday dinners as I grew up, that it just became a given that I would be at the table at suppertime. He also saved my teenaged butt by towing my dad's truck into town when it broke down. He didn't even give us hell when he found out that we weren't supposed to take the truck out of town. He just shook his head and said, let's go get it before your parents get home. He had a good life, and I am very sad that I won't see him again. I do take comfort knowing that he is with his late wife granny, his daughter and his dog Patches. Bye Papa, I will miss you, you old coot!!
Along with the death of Papa, I also suffered an injury.... I broke two toes!! Stupid steel bed frame, damn big feet!! It was so unbelievably painful, I actually cried a little. My toes turned completely black, and swelled up. It looked like I had two black sausages where my toes were. Sad thing is, treatment for broken toes is: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! That's right, nothing they can do but advise me to take it easy for a couple of days and keep icing them. So I did take it easy for a day and then I was back at the gym, pushing past the pain, mind over matter. I was a couple of days away from my weekly meeting, and I wanted to see some good numbers from my frenemy, the scale. So, I am proud to report that the scale was good to me and I lost another 7 pounds!! Wow, 7 less pounds of Lana to love, and boy, I am loving it!! I am 2.8 pounds from my 30 pound goal, and only 12.8 pounds from a night out dancing with my girls! I never thought that I would get here. I never thought that I would make it this far, but I am doing it, and I will succeed!! Hell, I have already. I am also proud to report that I am now wearing my wedding band and engagement ring, something I have not done for more than 2 years, and I can fit into my pre-baby clothes, and those clothes are already a little big!!! Words can't describe the feeling I got when I zipped up my pre-baby jeans. It was euphoric, and just reinforced my belief that I can do this. I will do this!! Life feels good!
I am 27.2 pounds closer to a Brand New Me!!
Love, The Queen