Thursday, March 25, 2010

Trying to feel normal

Please note that the following was written last week, but I did not publish it because my daughter got sick and unfortunately, I became a bad blogger and neglected it and my followers. Anyway, my baby is better and I am back to my blog.

When I began the Optifast program, I told myself that I wanted to continue life and have the adjustments be mine to make. I vowed that life would go on, as normal as possible, and the only thing missing would be the food. Today I faced a big challenge head on... I went for lunch with some girlfriends. Not such a big deal for most people, but for me, off food for 7 days, this could be a problem. Well I did it, and it was a breeze. I drank my lunch on the way, and ordered lots to drink and chewed my ice cubes happily. I felt normalcy, and it was good.

Getting off the couch has always been a challenge, but now that I have, I am actually loving the gym. It doesn't hurt when you go and you walk in and there are firemen working out all around you. Now if that isn't incentive, I don't know what is. It was living out a fantasy, minus the R-Rated (okay, sometimes x-rated) stuff. Another bonus that has been found at the gym!!

Speaking of fantasies... at the last meeting, we were asked what was our fantasy reward, and what was our reality reward? I have been thinking about this, and I feel stumped. There are so many things that I would love to reward myself with, but my fantasy reward is not anything really crazy, but I want to get to a point where I am comfortable in my own skin, and then go on a shopping spree for some really cute and sexy clothes. I also want to buy some really stupidly expensive jeans, not only because I can afford to, but because I can fit them!! My realistic reward is to buy myself a bike! I loved to ride my bike when I was a kid. It was how I got around when I was in junior high, and it was fun. So after the 12 weeks is done, I will buy a bike. And by the end of the summer I will bike to my parents home, and not feel awkward doing it. I will not feel like an elephant on a tricycle. I will feel normal... whatever normal is.

Love, The Queen

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